Under Your Spell Again

New Place

2009-08-07T02:06:09Z

Here's the link to the pictures of my new living space. It's still a bit messy with all the boxes, but I'm workin' on it.

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v665/FaeEri/New%20Place/

Updatedness N Stuff

2009-08-06T22:59:40Z

I dunno if I told you, but I moved. Again. I just can't stay in one spot for very long, can I? I moved into a house across the river. I have roommates now which makes my rent extremely cheap. Yay! I've lived here for about a month now. Only had my internet back for a couple weeks now. I've been pretty happy. I never realized how much my soul craved social interaction until I moved here. It's nice having people around and still getting that personal space, ya know? I have a few pictures of my new place that I will post on my photobucket for all to see, if you wish. Plus other fun pictures.

I started eating better this past week or two. I've been doing pretty good. I eat a lot more fruit than I used to. I bought a couple workout DVDs a few days ago but I can't seem to get into that frame of mind yet. Any tips? I'm also taking Slimquick which has been helping with my appetite and food addiction. I still tend to overeat, but my choices of food have changed so that's a step forward, right? I haven't been sleeping very well lately. I'm not sure if it's because of the new place or because of the food I'm eating. My daily caffeine levels have dropped dramatically since I started drinking more water, plus there's caffeine already in my Slimquick pills so I don't add to it. Not sure what I should be doing different to make myself get to sleep earlier than 3 or 4am.

Work's still kinda sucky. Actually, the department I work in is sucky, but I'm hoping that changes. I applied to work in the electronics department (for the 2nd time) and had my interview, which went well I think, but I "don't" know what Chris (electronic manager) has decided. <-- The last half of that sentence could be a lie, but I can't say.

So, I've been wearing make-up more often lately and been all around taking care of myself better. It's nice to finally think about just me for a change. School's been good, although I decided not to take classes over the summer. I'm behind a quarter so I'm gonna have to go during summer next year. My classes were tougher spring quarter but I did pretty good. I made the Dean's List. :) Had a GPA of 3.6 (technically 3.57 but I rounded up hehe). I'm proud of myself. :D

Well, that's about all I can think of to update you all with. Enjoy the rest of your day.

angelofsilence @ 2009-08-06T15:20:00

2009-08-06T22:21:17Z

Your result for The how fuckable are you? Test...

" The good fuck"

You're about as fuckable as most people, which is not bad. Actually, it's quite healthy! You know how to act and what's appropriate. You know when it's the time and place for what. And people can use that to see you erotically. It's no surprise that you can attract a good number of people. You're what they want! A realistic babe who knows when to get a bit wild! Yeah, I'd fuck you!

Take The how fuckable are you? Test at HelloQuizzy

MJ Dead

2009-06-25T21:50:15Z

So.. Yeah. Michael Jackson just died. Cardiac Arrest. He was just 50.

Edit @ 3pm: Maybe not? I've read multiple different stories from different newspapers saying MJ has died, is hospitalized, or is in surgery. I'm confused.

Edit @ 3:40pm: It's been officially confirmed by the L.A. Times. "Michael Jackson pronounced dead by doctors after arriving at hospital in deep coma." http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2009/06/pop-star-michael-jackson-was-rushed-to-a-hospital-this-afternoon-by-los-angeles-fire-department-paramedics--capt-steve-ruda.html

RIP Michael. I was never really a huge fan, but I always enjoyed his music. Here's my favorite song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtyJbIOZjS8 He can still dance to it, even though he's dead.

Moving & School

2009-06-25T02:37:49Z

Wow. It's been almost a month since I last updated. I have no idea what I updated, so if I repeat myself I apologize. To start off, I'd like to let you all know how I did in my college classes this Spring quarter.

English Composition I: B+
Intro to Geography: A-
Intro of Music: A-

Qtrly: GPA 3.57 (Up .10 points from last quarter)
Cum: GPA 3.52 (GPA includes both Fall and Spring)

Pretty awesome, huh? :) I'm proud of myself. Is that being arrogant?

Actually, the main reason I'm writing (or updating rather) is to let you guys know I'm moving. Again. Hey! This time I at least waiting more than 2 years before running away. I'm not moving very far from here. Just flying over the river 10-15 minutes into Wenatchee. I'll be a little further from work, but I'll be super close to school. I'm thinking of riding my bike to school and only using my car to go to work. I don't know how much longer my car is going to last.

Well, I better make me some dinner and pack up some more stuff before the night is out.

ANXIETY ATTACK

2009-06-03T06:01:02Z

I can't do it!! I CAN'T!! Make it all go away! :'( I swear I will fucking shoot myself in the face if I have to edit this last essay. I CAN'T DO IT! Kill me. PLEASE

Stuff

2009-05-23T07:01:17Z

I haven't had a real update in a while probably because school has kept me busy and also kept my brain at bay. I am so sick of writing essays, it's never been funny. Money's been a little tight, I think I might just make June rent if I don't spend anymore money for the next two paychecks. Anyways, I was posting because I have some news. I'm moving across the river into a house. A friend I met in my Sociology class this past fall is in need of a roommate, so I told her I would move in. Two of her current roommates are moving out. My friend and her cousin are moving to the upstairs rooms and I get to have the two downstairs. I doubt I'll use them both, but it'll be nice to have more room for myself and still a good amount of privacy.

Rent is $450 (I pay $475 now), my part of the deposit will be no more than $250 although I'm hoping it doesn't get anywhere close to that, and utilities will probably cost no more than $100/month. I'm basically saving myself $100/month which will be good. I don't really have to pay for food because the other girl (I think her name is Sara) gets food stamps. I think I might offer up my store discount though and hope that's equal enough to me chipping in. I'll have to ask work if I'm even allowed to do that. I might have to be the one who "buys" the groceries. Or I might offer to cook if the discount thing doesn't work. I'm pretty good at cooking when it's for more than just me.

I think there was something else I was gonna mention, but I forgot.

EEEVIL!!

2009-05-16T01:30:33Z

Essay 2

2009-05-10T08:48:34Z

Another A. Yeah, I know. I'm awesome. :)

Friday felt like the longest day of my entire life. We had to go a full school day, which I hated, before leaving for the retreat. My favorite teacher, Mr. Flannery, had come up with the idea of taking a group choral retreat. All three choral groups were going: the Chamber choir, Men’s choir, and the Ladies Ensemble (of which I was a member). I was excited about the retreat idea the moment he mentioned it.

In the winter of 1996, I was a freshman. My high school was only a few years old and our choirs weren’t nearly as good as other schools’, but Mr. Flannery thought we had potential. Mr. Flannery (who I’ll call Tom from now on) had brought up the idea of taking a retreat in the mountains for a little team building. The choral retreat would be at a youth summer camp which was also used by his church for their group retreats. Tom thought we needed to become closer to each other to bring our sound together.

Going on a group retreat far from school grounds was an exciting concept to me. I didn’t have any friends in the choir crowd and I was looking forward to people getting to know me better. The thought of all these strange new faces in a place I had never been before was also a little scary to me. I suffered (and still do) from social anxiety disorder. Large groups of people made my heart race. My craving for friendship was much stronger than my anxiety though, so I made sure to sign up for the trip.

School finally ended and I was out of there like a rocket. Everyone was meeting in the music room where all of our belongings had been left for the duration of the school day. After most of the regular student crowd had left for their homes, Tom asked us all to gather outside in the parking lot. Since the timing of Tom’s idea was short notice, the school didn’t have the time or the money to get the two busses we needed. Instead he asked some of the parent chaperones to drive the rest of us up to the campground.

After an hour and a half drive, we arrived at the retreat location. Everyone looked around at the new environment as they tumbled out of the cars and the bus. The place was especially beautiful since it was covered in six inches of snow. Tom and the parent chaperones got the group to focus and follow them to the lodge. Once we were all in the building, Tom had us sit in a large circle and introduce ourselves one by one. After each person had taken their turn, Tom explained to us why we were at the retreat.

“We need to form into one large choral family,” he said. “If we continue to sing as multiple voices in a large crowd, that’s how we’ll sound. We want to sound as one voice and to do that we have to become comfortable with each other.”

After a short time of the entire choral student body singing, we socialized with one another for the rest of the day in hopes we would become fast friends. When night came we were assigned our cabins and continued talking late into the evening. My cabin mates and I awoke early Saturday morning freezing from head to toe. The cold got us out of bed, dressed, and down to the mess hall for breakfast. After we ate, Tom announced the day’s itinerary. Each choir would get an hour and a half of practice together and after lunch we would all get an hour of free time to enjoy the scenery before joining as a whole to sing together as one.

The Ladies Ensemble worked hard that morning and hoped our new formed friendships from the night before had started to become solid. We sang our little hearts out to Tom and when our session was finished, he smiled to us and said, “Your singing was the best I’ve heard from you ladies this year. Keep it up and we can win some choral festivals.”

We all left with smiles on our faces, chattering to each other like young birds in spring. Our afternoon was spent laughing, having snowball fights, and becoming closer friends. People who have never done more than greet each other became best friends. Outcasts hung out with the popular kids and athletes spent quality time with the drama geeks. Music definitely has a way of bringing people from different backgrounds together.

After lunch, we slowly made our way back to the lodge for our larger group session. Once we were all together, we found out the song we sang separately was the same song we would be singing as a whole. In learning our parts without the distraction of the other choirs, we were able to join as one voice. I was in awe of how much we had changed in such a short time. Tom was so positive and inspiring to us, he made us want to be better, and in doing so, we sounded fantastic. After dinner we moved all of our pillows and blankets into the lodge and spent the whole night not as a bunch of voices in a crowd, but as a family of one voice.

Sunday morning felt a little bittersweet as we gathered our belongings together and packed into our transportation to head back to the high school. We were good together, but we all knew our connection couldn’t be the same when we got back to the campus. With everyone belonging to different cliques, we would stay close only when music was in the background.

listening to "Drunken Lullabies - Flogging Molly" on Blip

2009-04-25T18:34:39Z

One of my brother's fave bands. I'm going to work. Enjoy! :)

Essay 1

2009-04-25T06:42:31Z

I thought I'd share my first essay from my online English class. I haven't updated in a while and I really have nothing else to share, so I hope you enjoy it.

I’ve always been a shy person. As a child, I hid behind my mom whenever we were around people I didn’t know. As a pre-teen, I tried hiding myself in my clothes and at the back of a classroom. In high school, I was even worse because I couldn’t even give eye contact. So, why was I standing on a stage in front of a room full of people with a microphone in front of my face?

Since 4th grade, I had been a part of a choir. I loved music dearly from the first moment I heard it. I sang whenever I heard a song I even vaguely knew, but I never sang loud enough for others to hear. I was deathly afraid of the attention and of what people might think of me. I was even more afraid that someone would say I sang terribly and that my love for music would disappear when I heard their opinion on my singing. The fear of losing my love for music continued on into high school until one fateful day in my freshman year when I heard about the first annual solo concert.

Mr. Flannery, our music teacher, made the announcement to us one class morning in the early spring about an “end of the year” performance for anyone who wanted to do it. I had to try out. I can’t tell you what made me make the decision to sing in front of a large group of strangers because I don’t know. Maybe a part of me had grown up a little and knew singing alone in front of an audience wouldn’t kill me. A larger part of me screamed, “You will fail!”

I took the whole rest of the day to decide if I truly wanted to take that step into the unknown. After 6th period, I slowly made my way to the music room and successfully tried out for my very first solo. I spent the next two weeks trying to come up with a song to sing. Fortunately, my musical tastes had changed drastically in my years of junior high. I went from listening to strictly R&B and Pop songs to Classic Rock, Oldies, and Alternative music. Immediately, I thought of The Carpenters and the song, “Close to You”. I knew since I shared some of the same vocal range as Karen Carpenter, I could sing one of her songs without difficulty and without the embarrassment I constantly feared.

I bought the cassette album of “Close to You” and practiced constantly. I sang it in my bedroom, in the shower, and in my mom’s car. My mom told me to breathe and reassured me the night would go well. I wasn’t feeling as positive as my mom. The night of the solo concert was getting closer and the butterflies in my stomach kept multiplying. I was starting to second guess myself. The concert was going to bring about the end of the world! I felt the fear and anxiety in every bone in my body. Singing was going to be a huge mistake!

As much as I tried to stop or slow down time, the night had finally arrived. I was bouncing all over the house before we left and in the car on the way to the school. I was jabbering like a crazy person. I had never felt so nervous before in my life.
The seniors sang at the start of the concert and the rest of us were mixed in for the rest of the show. As my turn got closer, I began to feel numb and thinking that this was just a dream. Being numb was good because if my mind hadn’t rejected the current scenario of singing in front of people, I would have quit the moment I stepped foot into the theater. Mr. Flannery called my name and announced the song that I would be singing. I begrudgingly walked towards the stage, my heart beating like a hummingbird’s. In a way, heading up to the stage was like walking the green mile, the death march in a prison.

I felt time slow down as I took the steps up to the stage and slowly turned to face the crowd. I faced the microphone and I saw nothing in front of me! Nothing but a bright white light! The lights of the theater blinded my view of the audience. My fear almost melted away in their heat. I looked back to Mr. Flannery, gave him a wavering smile, and he began to play. The words flowed out of my mouth like water over stones in a brook. If someone looked close enough, he or she could tell I was tense and nervous by my hands held in a death grip, but I held steady. When it came to the last chorus, I forgot that the words were switched from the first chorus. I messed up! Fortunately, I had learned a trick in my choir class: “If you ever make a mistake, just keep singing and no one will notice.”

Growing up I trusted no one more than my mom. At that point in my life of uncertainty, Mr. Flannery was the one other person who had my complete and unwavering trust. That night on the stage, he held the strings above me with his piano to keep me from falling. I was a success! I may not have won anything, but I was a success to myself and to especially to my mom. Singing in front of an audience was one of the greatest moments of my life when I realized that taking steps into the unknown wasn’t as dark as I thought. The light of that same unknown, of my music teacher, and of the music itself was what showed me how singing alone in front of an audience was truly nothing to fear.

Listen to my station on Blip.fm! on Blip

2009-04-09T04:56:55Z

Listen to my station on Blip.fm!

Looky what I made!

2009-03-17T01:33:04Z

THIS IS SPARTA!!!

2009-03-16T02:58:15Z

THIS IS SPARTA!!!
Originally uploaded by MJW Anodos

LOL Awesome :) Found on flickr.com through StumbleUpon.

The birds think it's Spring, but it's not.

2009-03-16T02:45:39Z

Itz muh birfday!

2009-03-12T21:34:39Z

Silliness

2009-03-07T02:49:43Z

Rawr

2009-03-04T16:56:02Z

Your result for Which Were Animal Would You Be? Test...

You are a Were-Tiger!

80% tiger, 70% wolf, 0% horse, 10% rat, 40% leopard, 40% fox and 30% bear!

Tigers are definitely predators. They love to hunt and mostly hunt at night. They are also, for the most part, solitary animals, but they will definitely share a kill with other tigers.

Tigers don't live by set rules. Sometimes they avoid each other, sometimes they will work together to kill. They don't like feeling boxed in and will make sure that others know their territory.

Tigers are monogamous, but they don't have to be around their mates all the time. They meet up when the mating instinct hits them.

As a were-tiger you are going to be hunting during the night. You'll definitely be going after live prey and enjoy every minute of your hunt.

Happy hunting!

Take Which Were Animal Would You Be? Test at HelloQuizzy

Let's do it Doggy Style

2009-03-04T16:42:14Z

Your result for The Dog Reincarnation Test...

German Shepherd!

50% German_Shepherd, 31% Labrador, 6% Poodle, 13% Doberman, 19% Fox_Terrier, 25% Dachshund, 25% Bulldog, 25% Chinese_Crested, 19% Basenji, 44% Cocker_Spaniel and 25% Collie!

German Shepherds are lovers. People that are always looking out for others will likely be reincarnated as a German Shepherd.

German Shepherds have been one of the first choices for police and military dogs. It is one of the most dependable breeds of dogs as well. It has been one of the most popular breeds of dog for generations, according to the AKC. It is a loving family companion, highly intelligent, and very strong. This dog can be quite fearless and very protective of it's family. It is a large dog with short to medium length fur. This dog has a very majestic stance and loves to cuddle. They are quite the talkers and will sing or howl along with you. They are very inquistive and attentive dogs that never seem to forget. They are loyal, fearless, and totally devoted to their friends and loved ones.

A Look Back The German Shepherd Dog originated in 1899 at Karlsruhe, Germany due to the efforts of Captain Max von Stephanitz and others. Derived from the old breeds of herding and farm dogs, the first German Shepherd Dog exhibited in America was in 1907. The fame associated with Rin-Tin-Tin and Strongheart, two members of the breed whose movies played on variations of the boy and his dog theme, shot the popularity of the breed sky-high.

Take The Dog Reincarnation Test at HelloQuizzy

I Need Advice

2009-03-03T22:06:38Z

Would it be mean if I had a strictly emotional relationship with a guy that I wasn't physically attracted to?

Boring

2009-02-28T17:34:18Z

I think I'm too boring for people to talk to longer than 20 minutes at a time. I bore myself, so it must be true.

Finally

2009-02-24T23:21:25Z

It's finally happened. I'm over him. I don't hate him anymore and I don't love him anymore. When I remember things about our relationship, I enjoy the moments and then move on. I don't regret the relationship I had with him at all, as short as it was. That chapter in my life is closed and I'm happy I had it. I'm really ready to move on and I'm glad for that.

The Final Countdown

2009-02-10T00:58:19Z

31 days left people! It's time to start shopping for my birthday presents! Here is my super snazzy 27th Bday list for you all to peruse at your convenience.

Socks (fun socks)
Shoes (size 11)
Earrings (I like dangly ones. No gold, if they're a mix of metals that's fine)
Necklaces (silver and nothing too gaudy, I'm a simple girl)
Stuff from Torrid.com (you can find my wish list with my email addy: faeeri@yahoo.com)
Gift cards in general are good.
I like homemade stuff too. :)

If you can't afford anything or don't know me, don't worry about it. Just wishing a Happy Birthday (on March 12th) is enough.

angelofsilence @ 2009-02-08T19:17:00

2009-02-09T03:23:06Z

My brother Shawn is a good cook and it's great that my sister-in-law is proud of him and likes to tell me what they had for dinner every so often, but when I get picture messages on my phone of the food and one of my brother eating it (where he basically looks like "oh wow, look what I'm eating and you can't have any") that's going a little too far. I really don't enjoy it when people rub things in my face. They know I don't get to have many good meals because I can't afford to continuously buy groceries. They know I'm poor and I can only cook so many things. I just want to reply with a big FUCK YOU text and tell them where they can shove it.

angelofsilence @ 2009-02-03T18:35:00

2009-02-04T02:44:48Z

My brother and sister-in-law need a babysitter so they can go to the bank at 5pm tomorrow. I think there's something cloak-and-daggery going on here.

Do I want to know?